Yes, I said magic in long distance relationships. Although magic is possible in every relationship, long distance ones have their own kind of magic. Credit should be given to those relationships where an everyday physical connection is not possible. The slowly becoming mainstream scenario where strangers meet through the webcam, online sites, social media, apps, etc., is still a very doubtful way to finding a meaning to the four letter word that is awaited by many and scary for many as well.
How can it not? You may think to yourself that being devoted to a sole person that lives hundreds or thousands of miles away from you, whose country, language, and customs might be completely different than yours, is “insane”! I get it, it is pretty hard. If in a long distance relationship, talking through the phone, seeing each other through pictures and/or video calls, and for those who are lucky to have had the privilege of meeting each other in person at least once for a couple of days, can all be quite hard for the soul when what you’d really like is to enjoy your significant other and feel their touch, have them by your side, talk to them face to face, no intermediaries, just you two. Not only that, but basing a relationship on different time zones, a strong internet connection and devices, may be why some people still see long distance relationships as a waste of time. Truth is, long distance relationships have a certain magic to it that only those who go through it are fortunate to explore and experience.
For myself, stopping to think how this all happened, in our situation, has felt like a roller coaster, with not many downs as I keep counting, solely for the WiFi connection that sometimes is dooming. Recalling, how it all started the night after summer break of 2015 began, as it was one of those days where passed 2 am there is no one to talk to or to distract you, the only option that seems like a legit escape is the internet. In this case an online site to meet strangers around the world. The skipping, connecting and disconnecting with people and bots, the clicking itself starts making the option a complete failure. Then something happened, without realizing, on the other side of the world, a stranger, whose location is accurately 7,960 miles from my location, (San Diego to Melbourne) and I started a pleasant conversation. From that day on, the stranger, Grant, became a part of my everyday life.
For the first couple of weeks, he and I sent messages constantly throughout the day. We were only getting to know each other as friends, since we both had our romantic lives occupied at the time. After weeks of getting to know each other, we both realized this “friendship” had turned into a crush on crush situation. We eventually came clean with each other, not before we both left behind the feelings we had for other people. Even after knowing how we felt about the other, we never attempted or contemplated the possibility of a relationship since we both knew it would be pretty difficult to hold one.
To be honest, distance and our everyday lives did not stop us. We kept being constant, became more attached, felt harder for the other, shared our stories, became best friends and opened our hearts to each other. Yet, the doubt of whether or not we should start a relationship kept growing and growing. After spending my whole summer/his winter together sharing tons of pictures, snapchats, thousands of ongoing messages, a couple of phone calls and a skype video call, which was actually our first date, more specifically three months and a half of knowing each other, we decided to give a try to something we both felt deserved an opportunity.
Without sugar-coating anything, there really is magic to a long distance relationship. The magic happens when, even though this person has not been physically in front of you, you can feel warmness in their voice, that sense you get from only a couple of people. It makes you feel safe. That safeness I’m talking about is the one that gives you the confidence to open up to this person. If both individuals are honest and feel comfortable around each other, chances are both will get to know each other better than those around you, who might think they do. Having a connection that is not difficult to hold, that feels good and easy, makes you feel free to be yourself.
As mentioned before, of course there is a grand struggle everyone goes through in a long distance relationship. For us, it is not only when there is a special occasion like a holiday, monthiversary, or celebration, but with the little things that go through our everyday lives as well. This occasionally happens when we may, individually, be going through a rough patch, it is hurtful and frustrating to not be physically there for the other, because every once in a while everyone could use a hug or kiss, and almost everyone would want to have that special someone near them to celebrate individual highlights and accomplishments. Relying on how strong the internet connection is, how much charge a cell phone, laptop, or tablet could have sounds like a voluntary enslavement to a device. Not forgetting that making an effort to stay connected to your significant other regardless of time zone difference, in your eyes, may add to the weight of living.
In reality, getting into a long distance relationship is a serious commitment. The efforts to maintain the relationship can be stressful, but if done by both with positiveness, effort, and hopefulness that the relationship is worth it, the reward of having this person in your life makes the journey bearable and most importantly worth every moment and energy that is invested in it. In our relationship, Grant and I, have both shed tears of sadness and happiness. Sadness of feeling so close to an incredible human being, and sharing so many things in common although our customs, nationality, and language is different and yet having the whole Pacific Ocean between us. Of course, not everything is sad, since the tears of happiness that have been shed are of feeling fortunate and grateful to have met each other and sharing unforgettable moments together.
People say long distance relationships are not for everyone, I disagree. I believe that when you have strong feelings towards an individual, share a strong connection, are self-conscious, honest, and determined to take the chance, regardless of time difference, country and/or language the possibility of experiencing that magic is within the reach of everyone.