Good Grief

Letting you die was the best thing I could do. I celebrate today that you are so far gone, you stuck with me so long I forgot to distinguish who was who.

You haunted my soul for years, always felt like my albatross. Don’t you think it was time to let you go? I grew up always thinking you were stronger than I was and am. Your words poisoned my insides as a snake pours venom to its victim. I was your victim.

I celebrate today, that I am a new person, that although flawed, can breathe at full capacity. I feel as light as a feather, although you always made me think this would be impossible. Did we have good times? I honestly don’t know, you pulled me down every time I tried to crawl to the surface.

Let me rejoice, that little version of me is so far gone. I told myself you had to be out of my life, be gone and never come back.

I see this bright smile today being reflected on the mirror. I no longer feel “too fat”, “too tan”, “too tall”, or “too weak”. I have a lovely shape, my skin color is beautiful, my height is perfect, and my soul is the one of a strong viking.

I smile today for your death, there is nothing to grief about, but to celebrate the woman I always was and because of you I couldn’t see. So long, “friend”.

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23 comments

  1. Beautiful!! I have been in bad relationships that made me feel like I was nothing. When you finally leave, it is a feeling I can’t describe. I can totally relate to this post!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Until we let go of our inner critic or distance ourselves from people who are not supportive, it is often others (and thank goodness for them!) who can see or appreciate our unique beauty and not ourselves, I’m glad to read that you are happy, beautiful and free!

    Like

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