As a child, I never dedicated a single thought to you. It just didn’t happen. I was more interested in those things I now wish I could hold on to for one brief second more. As I grew, I believe the thought of you was still so unbearable. I grew attached to many, oh so many, the list is so long I can’t seem to recall half of it. At that time there still was no record of your existence either.
I reached an age were the way emotions felt was multiplied by ten. I started thinking about you, vaguely. I tricked myself into thinking that you wouldn’t be part of my life, no sign of you would be visible in me, ever.
Oh how gullible was I to think that?
Then, as emotions constantly shed and grew, so did you inside my thoughts. I began thinking about you little by little. I became the builder of those images of you that came to me in my dreams.
I reached adulthood with you among my thoughts, you had been finally created in this mind. Your entity has been created and built with so many hopes and in so many daydreams, that I dreadfully fear you may never come into my life at all. I want you really really bad.
I’ve also questioned and imagined how you came into my life without coming into it just yet. I think about you often, really often. I even speak your name and describe how in some distant time it will all be. I know that for now you are just a mirage. But I swear to you I hope we cross paths when the time and situation is right, when we both are ready for what will come, and when we both are willing to stick together. For now, you’ll be kept in my mind and heart until it’s game time, there you’ll be safe, my sweetest mirage.